It’s storytime y’all.
I usually tell stories because they’re not only interesting, they’re also very relatable when told truthfully and concisely.
I was sick last week. Very sick.
Now, this isn’t exactly news to a lot of people because it’s a part of the life experience.
Well, it came to me as a rude shock. Very unexpected!
It’s not that I’m superhuman or anything like that. It’s frankly that I’m never ill. Never! Now, I’ve detected symptoms here and there over the years but they’ve never resulted in sickness. Never!
It’s a no-brainer. I simply believed Isaiah 53. “I was healed by the stripes of Jesus.”
God has so helped me over the years to simply believe and accept this reality. If you didn’t know, faith works 100% every time you apply it.
So what happened last week? I was struck by a severe headache, I knew for sure my head would explode. Something similar happened to me in November 2019 and I was healed less than an hour after.
This headache though wouldn’t give in. I spent hours declaring God’s word and crying. The pain was severe and my temperature shot up.
As more time passed, my faith started to wobble. What was happening God? I knew that God’s word was true and I needed to stay in faith and keep declaring my healing in faith.
The devil knew this and pulled a fast one on me.
My sin was so fresh in my mind. It had only been the previous day I had done something I knew God wouldn’t be pleased about. I wasn’t even happy about it. I had asked for forgiveness and I knew I was forgiven but somehow, unknowingly, I still bore the weight of guilt.
The devil just reminded me a little about it. Much as I knew God would never chastise me with sickness, I struggled. “Lord, why am I sick? Why isn’t my declaration working? Are you mad at me God?”
Once I entertained these thoughts, I couldn’t stand in faith. I would remind myself I was forgiven and the devil would laugh hard and say, “If you’re forgiven, why are you so sick? You keep doing this stuff, don’t you think God is pissed by now?”
Then I would do the one thing I shouldn’t even conceive. I would admit to the guilt and plead for forgiveness again.
After a while, as day two turned to day five and I was so weak and wouldn’t stop vomiting, I finally just stopped praying. I knew I wasn’t going to die but I didn’t have the faith to stand up against the sickness or the devil. My mentors kept praying and I believed God would hear them.
One of those days my mentor looked at me and said, “You do realize I need your faith right now, right?”
I just looked at him. I didn’t have any faith at that moment.
After eight days, I got better and gained my strength.
I went out the following day for a conference I had been excited about and God spoke to me there.
“King David looked forward to this day and so he declared openly, ‘Blessed is the man whose sins the Lord no longer counts against him.'”
I heard the Lord whisper clearly, “You are that man. I no longer count your sins against you. I have cast your sins in the sea of forgetfulness.”
To further bring this truth home, I listened as Pastor Mike said on Sunday, “God has given you his gift of righteousness. You are forgiven ultimately.”
I knew God was speaking to me. “I have already forgiven you. I have healed you.”
I didn’t need to go through eight days of pain if I had an understanding. The devil would always point accusations, that’s his job. He’s called the accuser of the brethren.
Whenever he comes though, I can say confidently, “I am forgiven ultimately.”
Why did it seem as though my faith wouldn’t work?
I also learned that faith is in God, not the results.