I was free.
Right there in my prison cell, I was free.
Mike would scream and yell but he could not intimidate me any longer. I was no longer afraid. I knew I had something on the inside that was so much more powerful than my outward circumstance.
Everyday I waited for the final blow that would take me to heaven. I knew it was coming. Mike was more agitated than ever. My prayers bothered him and my songs intensified his restlessness.
I would read Psalms and just identify with David. I didn’t think of running anymore. I knew he was going to kill me anyway but I didn’t see the need to push the point.
I didn’t know anything about my family but I prayed for them. I prayed for my daughter. It had been five years.
This particular night, I sat on the floor crying and praying. I must have been there a long time because Mike suddenly walked into the room more angry than I ever saw him. I knew my time had finally come. He walked straight at me, his fist stretched out. I bowed my face waiting for that final blow. It never came.
I looked up and saw Mike’s terrified face, frozen in shock. I looked but saw nothing to cause it.
Then the strangest thing happened. Mike got down on his knees and cried all that night like a baby. He said he was sorry. He was bullied and picked on as a child so he grew up angry and defensive. He had never felt loved. Fear was his constant companion but he promised himself a long time ago that he would never be the weak one.
Mike told me that night that he hated me for the peace I now had but he wanted it too. We prayed together that night and read the Bible together for the first time ever.
I watched Mike for more than seven months, just waiting for the next blow. It never came. He never even touched me. It was like he was a whole different person. I knew in that moment that God was indeed powerful and the only one who could really change a person.
A year later, I told Mike about Mandy. We both cried so much. I knew then that God didn’t have death in my future. He had great plans for me, for Mike and Mandy.
It’s been seven years.
I have my most faithful Friend and Lord, the Holy Spirit. I have my family, Mike and our children (Mandy, Mike Jnr and Michelle). God has given us the added blessing of a ministry to young people everywhere.
I no longer live in time. I live in moments, each season a time to live out to the fullest the life God has blessed me with and a time to show others the better way that God led me through and helped me find.
‘Because of your unfailing love, I can enter into your house; with deepest awe I will worship at your Temple.’ Psalm 5:7.
‘But the Lord still waits for you to come to Him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for him to help them.‘ Isaiah 30:18.