February 22nd, 2005.
The things I do no longer surprise me. I didn’t really think I would have ventured this far at just 15 but oh well, Uncle Tony said it just right: ‘I am a never do well and if I’m lucky I would end up just like my dad who’s locked up in prison or worse like my mama who overdosed on drugs.’
I wanted to prove him wrong so bad but what’s to prove?
Uncle Tony is the only family I know and I experienced my first sexual exposure with him. I might as well just end this drama called my life. Got to go. Miss Stevens is here for good ole Biology.
We had a good lecture. I deny it all the time but I love school. It’s too bad I’m not going to do anything meaningful with my life. My future was written the day I was born into the miserable lives of James and Kate, two drugged up misfits.
I stood up to leave the class but Miss Stevens speared me with a look and told me to wait behind.
I rolled my eyes nonchalantly at being interrupted and just stood still as the rest of the class filed out.
‘Come over here Sarah.’ Miss Stevens called to me.
I sauntered over to her desk and just sat unbothered.
Miss Stevens didn’t even look offended. Her friendly expression remained.
Then she stunned me with this question, ‘Who are you Sarah Moses?’
I tried to stand but she told me to remain seated and answer the question.
I stammered so much it hurt. Then I just felt the tears slide down my face. Miss Stevens had effectively hit the nail on the problem that plagued my every waking moment. I simply had no idea who I was.
I lifted my head and looked through tear rimmed eyes at Miss Stevens and whispered, ‘I don’t know ma’am. I wish I did.’
With a glorious smile Miss Stevens reached out to grasp my hands and spoke the most liberating words to me.
‘Sarah, you’re not a mistake. You’re not the bad things you’ve done. You’re not how you feel on any given day and you’re certainly not what someone has called you or what your life has labeled you.’
Then she opened the book on her table, her Bible and she read what has become my favorite scripture. 1 Peter 2:9.
‘Look here Sarah:’
‘You, Sarah, are a Holy generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. And He has called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.‘
I cried so much when she read those words. I asked her, ‘Are you sure He’s talking about me in there? Do you have any idea the things I’ve done ma’am?’
Miss Stevens smiled at me and said, ‘It doesn’t matter Sarah. When you come to Jesus, He gives you a clean slate. Read here Sarah and I did. I read the most wondrous words in Psalm 103:11-12’;
For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our rebellious acts as far away from us as the east is from the west.
Miss Stevens looked at me and said to me, ‘You too can be forgiven Sarah and enjoy all that God promises. Do you think this is something you would like Sarah?’
Of course it was what I had been looking for. Meaning. So I nodded and Miss Stevens prayed with me.
Y’all I stand in this room filled with people of every color and nation and declare to you that I took my very first breath of real life after that prayer.
It’s been fifteen years since that talk with Miss Stevens. I went on to college the following year. Yes, God provided in ways beyond my wildest dreams. My life hasn’t been free of trials but I know who my daddy is and very importantly, I know who I am.
Since then I’ve learned that in this life we’re not without an identity.
Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Sarah Roberts and I’m the King’s Daughter.
My life is rich and full because I found my identity in the One who made me. I came today to help you find yours.