God is the only reason I survived.
I’ve told this story a number of times. About a year ago I was returning home from church in the evening. I had a ride from church but they dropped me halfway through. I was very despondent that day, didn’t have the emotional strength to hail a cab so I just walked.
I walked for a long while. And in that time I was looking over my journey and crying to God in my heart. I was so upset that particular evening; as I walked, tears coursed down my face.
Then I was walking over the bridge and I felt the nudge so strongly to jump all the way down. I was so tired of life and I didn’t think I had much to live for. I just wanted a way out, an escape. So I looked down at the bridge, looked around me. The street was filled with only a handful of people and a few cars drove past randomly. The stage was set and I could just slide down in an instant. I moved closer to the edge of the bridge and stopped cold.
Two thoughts halted any further action. I looked at my life and somehow I saw some reasons to smile and then I looked beyond; if I took my life and ended up in hell, my life on earth would look like paradise in comparison. I looked down the bridge again and realised it wasn’t a great height and I thought, what if I threw myself down and then all I had was a broken spine and I didn’t die? I shook my head fiercely. Whether I knew it or not, I had something to be thankful for. So I got a cab and headed home.
Like it or not I was still depressed. I walked into the house with sagged shoulders. Then something happened: a little over an hour later, my friend called and she says, ‘Babe, are you okay? The Lord kept bringing you to mind and I knew I had to call you.’
I saw that day that God is mindful of me. He understands my feelings of frailty because he, as a man walked the earth. The call didn’t change my circumstances but it reminded me of something I had forgotten, something we easily forget.
God is constant. His word is constant. He just never changes. He is well able to take the broken, abandoned pieces of your heart and make it whole. And men will misunderstand you and sometimes say and do hurtful things to you because they’re also limited in understanding. But God will be there to hold you up and as long as you let Him, He’ll always be there, never leaving or forsaking you.
I could have been six feet below or broken through and through in a bed of sickness and bitterness but God is the only reason I survived. And He’s reaching out to as many who will let Him in. You will still go through hard times but you can be confident that He’s right there holding you up.
John.16.33 – I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.] [AMP]