So I got on my knees tonight or this morning cause it’s already past 12am to say a word of prayer just before I turn in.
And as I thanked Jesus for his love and kindness, I realized his love is actually real and he is kind.
You know sometimes prayer gets so routine, you know the words in your head. You know, it leaves your heart and it’s stored in your brain, so much so that you can say it without even thinking.
While it’s good to be able to pray at all times and subconsciously, it’s more important for it to be heartfelt.
So while I’m reciting about his love and kindness, my life flashes before me and I realize his love and kindness is the only reason I’m still here.
I mean I can’t be the only one that’s had it insanely rough. Some of y’all have had really horrible experiences, enough to bury six men but guess what? A lot of y’all are still standing. Why?
You could give a number of reasons for that like you’re strong or intelligent or capable and you don’t break easily. That’s dandy but there are so many others who were strong and capable and had their head and heart in the right place but still didn’t make it.
But you’re here. Still standing. It’s not that God loved them less. But somehow, in his sovereignty, he decided to preserve you.
And I recall how really nasty I can be sometimes and while still on my knees, I try to reflect on why he would still keep me and love me. And I remember it’s been an agelong question.
A time or two you see questions in the Bible like, ‘What is man that you’re mindful of him? The son of man that you care so much about him?’
The angels can’t comprehend it. The devil is supremely mad about it and man simply takes all the love and shoves it in God’s face.
So tonight or this morning, I decided to reflect on the love of God. The unconditional love of the father that made him, the Supreme being, walk the earth as a man and die a cursed death on a cross.
While I realize I will never be worth his love and sacrifice, I choose to bask in it. To enjoy it and share with as many who haven’t found it. Because he loved me bad enough to pay a huge price for me knowing fully well I could toss it in his face.
That kind of exceptional, unconditional love and commitment I want to bask in as long as I live. So I won’t be saying a routine prayer tonight or this morning. I’ll be saying a heartfelt prayer from now on knowing he’s waiting for my tiniest whisper.