I’m the girl behind the veil, the shadow behind the full moon, always lurking in the dark, arms flailing and never reaching out. I am the girl standing on the periphery of life, always looking out of the window and never taking a part. I’m the star, only coming out at night because I’m petrified of the reality of the day. Even worse I’m the girl who gave up on her dreams, desires and passions because I was scared; of not being good enough, of just scratching the surface, of not measuring up, of having my expectations dashed.
Upon further inspection I realized I’ve always been afraid. Growing up I was afraid of the dark shadows that followed me at night. I was afraid of the moon, every rustling leaf and swaying tree was a monster chasing me, and even in my dreams and subconscious, I was frightened.
As I grew my fears evolved, growing, consuming me and filling me with dread. It was a new kind of fear that gripped me with it’s talons. It was the kind of fear that ripped dreams apart, made you feel not good enough; and your aspirations, no matter how lofty, seemed unattainable. Even as I sit here typing, I’m filled with anxiety. What if this piece isn’t good enough? Why am I putting myself out there?
Then I heard a whisper above the noise, ‘Let go of your fears and let me help you.’
Recently I stumbled on a quote about fear which read, ‘Face everything and rise and forget everything and run,’ depending on your outlook. And just like me, I realized a lot of people are running, cowering and imprisoned in a cage bolted by fear.
The good news is, we don’t need to run anymore. Not from our talents, potentials, weaknesses or flaws. Personally, I want to embrace life, live to the fullest and not ponder on the road not taken. I don’t want a life of regrets, what ifs and had I known. And neither should you.
The road to self realization is long and not always easy but learning to let go and embrace the help that God gives is key and bliss. Take it all to God because he says, ‘Cast your cares on me because I care and I haven’t given you a spirit of fear but of love, power and a sound mind.’
So what is holding you back and taking your joy? Fear, anger, grief, hate, malice, the list is endless. Let them go and embrace God even as He begins to transform your life anew. And He will if you let Him.
Written by Deborah Egbekpalu. Thanks love.